Ever have a really hard time getting through a week?  Like no matter what you do to try to stay motivated/happy/energized/ etc. you still feel MEH?  That has been me this week. My 28th birthday is coming up, I’m roughly six weeks away from treatment, there are 25 school days left of the 2016-2017 School Year, my husband has gotten into a kick ass graduate program at the University of Arizona, and I still feel MEH. There is so much to be happy about and thankful for, but it’s like my brain hasn’t actually absorbed everything that is going on.  It is driving me crazy! I have been super committed to the 21 Day Body, Mind, and Soul Detox that I mentioned in my last post, and I was legit feeling the best I have felt in a while last week (or was it two weeks ago already?!), but for whatever reason I went down the rabbit hole this week.  I have tried eating my favorite foods, going to bed super early, doing yoga, listening to my favorite podcasts, diffusing my favorite oils…NOTHING. No emotional reset. Don’t you wish sometimes it were as easy as just pressing a button to refresh your spirit? That’s kind of where I’m at right now.

This week I became inspired by my favorite new podcast, Truth & Dare, to start journaling. I asked for a journal from the hubs for my birthday, so hopefully that works out.  If not, a simple trip to Target will do the trick.  This is not something that I have ever done before, but I am hoping that by word vomiting how I am feeling on a daily basis, it will serve as some sort of therapy.  I think it will also help me from getting stuck in my own head, which is a huge issue at the moment.  I also just ordered the book Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert. I have heard AMAZING things about it and am hoping to tap into that spiritual side that I have been embracing more and more throughout this journey.  I am hoping that this combo, in addition to my daily yoga practice and meditation, will help claw my way out of this funk! I will keep you posted!

My emotions have been extremely hard to control as time goes on with this bug in my head. Early on, I was able to kind of shake myself out of the fog and snap back to realty.  It was easy for me to go from crying at a commercial to laughing at my goofy husband.  But these days, man, it’s tough! And I feel like the fog doesn’t lift for sometimes weeks on end. Someone needs to give a crash course on dealing with this sort of thing when diagnosed with a chronic illness like Lyme.  Hell, maybe when I figure out the secret formula I will. Anyways, that is why I have been MIA. Sorry guys! I have had severe writers block and have seriously low motivation to do anything besides go to work, eat, and sleep.  I don’t want this to become a place that is negative, which is why I stay away when I am unwell. I will be back soon with some updates!